Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
