what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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