why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
