i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My vagina is very pro this idea
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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