He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
