I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
