Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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