Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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