Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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