you would pick up someone in the library
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
