So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
