Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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