I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize