you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
