Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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