oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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