So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize