If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
as a side note pls kill me
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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