i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
