bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You were trust falling into bushes
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
