Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
