we have officially lost it.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
