WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
