I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize