considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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