i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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