But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
