He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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