yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
