So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
