I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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