I need help removing her.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize