I have demons in me.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This toilet bowl is my home.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
