i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Drake has all the answers
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
