She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
