Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
