My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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