i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
