I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
