I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
