My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
What a dumb baby whore.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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