When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
