you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
