Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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