I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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