The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
