I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
