My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
