gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
