Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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