Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
