yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
