I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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