They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
