i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
The best revenge is premature balding
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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