we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Randomize
