i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize