It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
