K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
