I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
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