dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize