thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
