If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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