so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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