covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize