I cockslap morals
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
