Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
