sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
