how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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