It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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