matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
