He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
