then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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