PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
