So drunk its hurt
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
