look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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