just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
