yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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