We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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