My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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