reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
