i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
